Ethiopia Guest Home - Where we will be staying

www.EthiopiaGuestHome.com

We are looking forward to our trip to Ethiopia...though being away from Ezra, Olivia, and Camille is going to be hard. We are starting to prepare them for our time away.

Our travel is still dependent on some paperwork getting to the right people in the right time...but we are trusting the Lord that we will still be traveling for our scheduled court hearing.


Ethiopia Guest Home is where we will be staying during our time in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Go read about their website. The video below explains their heart and their vision.

What we love about the opportunity to stay here is that revenue goes to help local ministries (run by Ethiopians) to serve the people of Ethiopia and bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ to them. The guest home not only provides a great place for adoptive families and ministries to stay, but it employs many Ethiopian people.

Watch the video, catch the vision and considering staying there if you are traveling to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Dave McIllrath and his wife are the ones who started this home/ministry. He and his wife have a passionate heart to love and serve others. We count it a great joy to be able to stay here and look forward to writing further posts about our stay here.



Ethiopia Guest Home - More Than a Place to Stay from Session 7 Media on Vimeo.http://www.ethiopiaguesthome.com/

Paperwork Sprint Update!!

If you read the previous POST...you knew we had to do some things very quickly. The Lord was very gracious and allowed all the paperwork to get collecting in the course of 5 hours and sent off to the Secretary of State in WA.

Here is a little recap of the day.

* The two people who wrote references for us, rewrote their reference paperwork and got them notarized.
* Go down and pick up a certified copy of our marriage license.
* Meet the Bade's to pick up reference letter.
* Go to doctor office to have them do a new physical and rewrite letter on their letterhead and notarize.
* Meet social worker to pick up notarized documentation from her so we can include it in our cover letter.
* Pick up 2nd reference letter
* Back to office to write out cover letter to send to Secretary of State.
* Go to bank to have cover letter notarized.
* Go to Post Office and send documents before 5:30.
* I looked at the clock as I left the post office...5:23!!!!

This all happened in about a 3 hour window, which is kind of amazing. The Lord was very good and gracious to us in allowing this all to get done in such a quick time period...and as far as we can tell, each and every day matters.

Next Step: Wait until we get the paperwork back from the Washington State Secretary of State, then we have to send it to our courier service in D.C. who then takes it to the Department of State to have it authenticated and then to the Ethiopian Embassy, then to our agency, which will hopefully get it to Ethiopia very quickly.

Please Pray - Paperwork Chase and Authentication

Ethiopian adoption procedure is always changing in one way or another.

We found out from our agency this week that any document over 2 years old within the Dossier needs to be updated before the Ethiopian gov't will hear our adoption case, which is set for the 28th of January.

 Because we began our adoption paperwork in December of 2008, several of the documents are out of date and we have to scramble to get them ASAP. So please pray for us as we pray and work hard to get all the documents in and timely.

 This is a big deal for several reasons, but especially because we have already spent $3,030 in purchasing our tickets.

* My heart really is at peace (though working hard at getting this all cleared up and taken care of)...that is a gift from the Lord. Although we have already booked tickets, etc. we know the Lord purposefully does that which will cause us to depend and trust Him completely.

Ways to pray
* Pray that we are able to get all the documents in a timely manner (Updated Home Study, Reference Letters, Medical Physicals, Police Clearance Letters)
* The WA Secretary of State is quick and efficient and sends back our documents quickly.
* Our Courier service in D.C. is able to work efficiently in getting our new forms and paperwork to the Department of State and then to the Ethiopian Embassy...stamped and approved, then to our Agency who will then send it to Ethiopia for it to be translated in a timely manner, so all the documents can be to the MOWA (Ministry of Woman's Affairs) 2 weeks prior to our court date.
* This all really needs to happen within the next 2 weeks, which gives us more reason to see the gracious hand of God in all of this because it is the holiday season and who knows if any of these people/organizations will be working between Christmas and New Year's Day.

Susan Parr Travel

When we traveled to Ethiopia for the completion of our adoption of Ezra a few years ago, we used Susan Parr Travel to arrange our flights and travel. One of their specialties is coordinating travel arrangements for adoptive families.

In a day in age when travel agencies have nearly gone out of existence because of the ease of coordination of flights, hotels, etc. due to the internet...Susan Parr Travel is a shining example of a great business that has bucked the economic curve and has found a way to stay in business and thrive as a travel agency.

The first call I made after we confirmed our adoption court date with our adoption agency, was to Susan Parr Travel. I was quickly connected to a Adoption Travel Consultant who within a few hours had sent me several options for travel via the different airlines.

She kept in great communication and I was notified about a special that was going to be ending soon. Due to their promptness, they intuitiveness and alertness to all the scheduling of flights and available deals and specials, she not only arranged our flights but saved us about $250 per ticket for acting quickly and not delaying important decisions (which I have a bad habit of doing).

Three days later I received our tickets in the mail, other helpful information about preparation for travel, FAQ's, and a nice folder to keep our tickets and passports in.

So, if you are taking a trip and want someone to assist you in a professional manner, consider Susan Parr Travel.

If you are traveling is related to issues with adoption, court dates, embassy dates, etc... SUSAN PARR TRAVEL is such an asset, such a service, such a blessing to many families, especially ours.

Also, Kathy Carver was our representative. She put up with my countless phone calls and emails and was always eager to be of help to us and the important decisions we needed to make.

She even answered one of my emails at 11:30 pm. Crazy!

From the first person we talked to on the phone, through our final flight reservations, everyone at this company has been extremely helpful, professional and wonderful!!!

Here is the link to the Susan Parr Facebook page.

Favorite Parts of Voyage of the Dawn Treader (the book)

C.S. Lewis was a brilliant and gifted man who painted vivid and amazing pictures with his words. I recently reread Voyage of the Dawn Treader with anticipation of the upcoming movie which comes out this weekend. Each page of the book is full of words, sentences and conversations that are so vivid you can taste them. It has been a while since I read the whole Chronicles of Narnia series, but I think Voyage of the Dawn Treader might be might favorite (of course I'll say that until I read the next one). Below are so of my favorite parts of the book. (I do hope that the movie captured Lewis' heart in the biblical imagery scattered throughout the book).

Favorite parts of the book (we'll see if the movie holds up to the book)

1. Aslan's redemption/healing of Eustace the dragon

2. Caspian's call to his sailors to be on mission

3. Reepicheep's boldness to continue on mission, knowing it will cost his life. (His preoccupation with Aslan and Aslan's country makes no cost to great for the joy of being united with Him.)

4. Aslan's loving firmness with Lucy to resist vain glory

5. The beauty, purity, fullness, wonder, unending joy of Aslan's Country (heaven)

1. Eustace Clarence Scrubb - Story of Regeneration

     Our first introduction to Eustace is in the first sentence of the book, 'There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it'. Angry, self-centered, without friends because he was an annoying pebble in your shoe that you can't get rid of.
 Yet, about half way through the book we get to a climax of the scene with Eustace and Aslan. Eustace's greed has turned him into a dragon. There is nothing Eustace can do about his dragonness. He was horrifically miserable, dreary of his condition, he tries ripping the scales off his body, but all to no avail. He scratches and scratches until his scales are off, but as he tore the dragon scales off his body, they just grew back.

 Eustace could do nothing on his own merit. Aslan then spoke to Eustace, 'You will have to let me remove your scales'. Then the story goes on...

'The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off'...'He peeled the beastly stuff right off-just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt-and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then He caught hold of me...'


Beautiful description. It goes on in further description, but this was a masterful way to describe our own inability to change, to rid ourselves of our sinfulness and it is only through Christ Jesus that we can be cleansed, purified, and made a new creation.

What was/is your favorite part of the book?

First meeting with an Attachment Therapist

*I write this down because I think there are others out there who are wrestling with similar issues in the adoption/foster care world, and this will be a bigger and bigger issue as more and more adoptions occur. By no means am I offering counsel, just recounting some of our process and what we are working through. It serves as a means of clarifying my thoughts also. We are very much at the beginning of this. 

Today we had our first meeting with an attachment therapist. We had no clue what to expect. We'd be lying to say that we weren't a bit nervous. What should we expect? What is normal? Is he going to act like 'normal' and show no signs of any issues? Are we just being over-sensitive and making all this stuff up?

So we get into the house and get comfortable. Instantly the kids (yes, we brought all of them) wanted to play with all of the toys she had, but first she wanted to get to know us a little bit and ask us a few questions. 

(I am briefly summarizing a 2 hour session). She was very warm, gracious, kind and helpful. 

Hannah: 'Ezra, could you tell me about your mom and dad? Tell me one thing about your mom?'

Ezra: 'Well, she lets me help her do the dishes'. 

Hannah: Great. Thank you for answering the question. High Five! Hugs for daddy and mommy.

 Now could you tell me about your dad? What does your dad do for work?

Ezra: "Well, he does the dishes." (Which I do try and do, but not for work.)

Hannah: 'Ezra, I want you to tell me what you dad does for work'.

Ezra: 'He leaves the house'. 

For the next 35 minutes, Ezra says different things and is trying to maintain control. He gets so frustrated with the process that he starts crying and goes and sits in mommy's lap and is held by her (which is a good thing). Hannah then trys to move onto a different question and come back to the 'What does daddy do for work' question.  We were greatly encouraged that Ezra went into Heidi's arms to be held by her (that is a good thing).

So Ezra stands up and looks at Hannah in the eyes and she asks...

Hannah: 'Ezra, what color are my eyes?'

Ezra: 'Purple'. 

Hannah: 'Ezra, I am sorry, my eyes are not purple.' (As a four year old, he knows his colors).

This goes on for another 10 to 15 minutes. 

Hannah: 'Ezra are you ready to answer the question.'

Ezra: 'Yes.'

Hannah: 'Ok, what color are my eyes?'

Ezra: 'Black'.

Hannah: 'Sorry Ezra, that is not right'.

* It is very easy to see that Ezra is trying to maintain control here and do things on his own terms and not on Hannah's terms. 

Daddy's Thought and Question:

About half way through this, I jump into the conversation. Heidi, we don't talk a lot about what I do for work, do you think this is something Ezra knows and knows how to communicate? 

Hannah: 'Possibly, but the fact that Ezra hasn't tried to answer correctly is something I want to pursue a bit further. It isn't that the answer has to be perfect, it just needs to be on topic and somewhat specific.' (As opposed to 'daddy washes dishes for work' or 'he just leaves the house'.

In Daddy's mind: (Maybe he is getting confused, maybe the questions should be asked in a different way.) Reality Check: These are really simple questions to ask/answer.

After doing some strong sitting, sitting on mom's lap and seeing her sister play with Superman and other toys, he says he is ready to answer.

Hannah: 'Ok Ezra, what does your daddy do for work?'

Ezra:  MY DADDY WORKS ON HIS COMPUTER AND SELLS HOUSES. 

(Word for word from his mouth. We had given him no further information since the beginning of our time. He is a very smart boy!)

Everyone: At this point we congratulate him, give huge hugs, big high-fives, and kisses, and communicate with him that we are super excited for him to tell the truth.

After answering that correctly, it took another 30 minutes to answer her second question correctly.

Hannah: 'Ezra, what color are my eyes?'

Ezra: 'Your eyes are blue'. 

Everyone Again: At this point we congratulate him, give huge hugs, big high-fives, and kisses, and communicate with him that we are super excited for him to tell the truth. 

Over the course of the hour and fifteen minutes of this, there were simply 2 questions Hannah focused upon because they were trigger points for Ezra.

1) What does your daddy do for work?

2) What color are my eyes?

You might be thinking: Wow, you went and spent 2 hours with someone just to answer those 2 questions. No...those questions and his answers reveal some deeper attachment issues. Why lie over the course of 20 times about what your daddy does for work and what color someone's eyes are? Maintain and keep control for the purpose of a safety mechanism. 

What is next?

- Time of thanksgiving to the Lord for our son. We cherish that God has graciously gifted our family with Ezra and soon Musse. 

- We are going to listen to and read Taming the Tiger while its still a Kitten. There are a lot of practical helps in working with children on helping them attach and gives us plenty of things to work on with Ezra over the course of the next few months. 

- Work on some of the things Ezra missed in his first year of life that he needs now. Additional holding, loving touch, looking into eyes, etc. You might think this is weird, but there are so many things that occur in that first year of life that we need to take a step back and work on with Ezra. 

- Ezra needs to know (the experiential know) that daddy and mommy know what is best and he doesn't need to try to maintain control. Helping him learn to TRUST us is essential. 

Other Thoughts:

- It isn't that we are trusting 'therapy' to change his heart and cause him to be born again, that is a gracious gift from the Lord, and only by the Lord. 

- Ezra is such a blessing and joy to our family and is full of smiles, joy and encouragement...but he is also hurting and needs help and does try to control and 'lead' as a means of coping. 

- If your child had a broken thumb and needed surgery and repairing, you would get physical therapy for him, right? The hardest part about attachment issues is that when brain development gets involved causes and treatments get a bit more tricky. There is no one unified voice, especially biblical voice, that addresses the issue the way physical therapists would respond to a broken thumb and what to do to get it back to functioning normally. 

If this post has been unclear, please comment and ask questions so I can clarify it.

P.S. A few posts I am going to do before we leave for Ethiopia are going to be focused upon 'What we learned from parenting an adopted child the first time around & what we are going to do different our 2nd time around.'

Be expectant when you read

I am finding that I am not very expectant when I read a book. I often read something because someone recommends it. That isn't bad in and of itself, but often I pick up a book without really assessing WHY I am reading this book and WHAT I hope to gain from it, and what is going to CHANGE as a result of reading this book.
 If I write out and answer some of those questions, I am a lot more focused, purposeful and accountable for the time I put into reading.

So, here are 2 questions I am going to ask of every book I read from now on.

1. Why am I going to read this book?


2. What do I hope to gain from reading this book?


3. What is going CHANGE as a result of reading this book?


* Obviously 2 and 3 are not going to be able to be spelled out with perfect clarity until the end of the book (and sometimes not even at that point) but I know I will be a lot more focused and attentive to actually THINKING while I read, instead of just breezing through words, sentences and paragraphs.

P.S. If nothing changes as a result of reading whatever I am reading, I am wasting the time the Lord has entrusted to me. Be on Mission!

For those of you who read, are their specific questions you ask before you read a book to make sure you are getting the most out of it as possible?

World AIDS Day

Russell Moore has some thoughtful reflections on World AIDS Day. You know you need to read it when you read in the first paragraph that JESUS HAS AIDS. Read it.


Here is a video done by CBS about the Twietmeyer family who started Project HOPEFUL and have adopted several kids from Ethiopia, and a few who have HIV. You can read their God-wrought story HERE. At least, watch their video...I learned a lot in 3 minutes.


Lisa Qualls is another blogger who has a lot to say regarding adoption & AIDS and her blog is always worth reading. She gives 5 specific ways you can help on World AIDS Day. She is also very active at From HIV to Home.

We got our Court Date - January 28th

We got our court date today. We will now be making flight arrangements and other accommodations for our trip in the last week of January!!!!!!