Tonight is the last night we will be a family of 5 as Dustin and his mom are returning from Ethiopia tomorrow. So many things have gone through my head today as I tried to prepare for his arrival. Things such as,*Do I have enough diapers
*When will I ever get a chance to clean my bathroom again?
*Have I prepared our other kids well enough for Moses' arrival?
*Will Moses hate me and cry every day. . . . . . I'm not sure my nerves can handle that. . . .
Here Moses will probably have had an average of about 15 caregivers during his short life. To him, I'm just another new and very 'white' face. I smell different, I talk different, I don't know his schedule that he's been used to of eating and sleeping and the list goes on. One of the biggest issues Dustin and I have talked through has been attachment. We wanted to post a little something about all the things we learned in doing things with Ezra and what we will do differently the second time around.
So here's a few things:
1) He will be sleeping in our room and if not in bed, directly next to me so I can roll over and touch him
2)I (Heidi) will attempt to carry him attached in a carrier and facing me for a minimum of 6 hours a day, for 6 weeks
3)No one else will hold Moses until we see good signs of attachment(minimum of 3-6 months)
4)He will be fed a bottle for as long as possible so that he learns to make eye contact with me(mom)
5)We will try to encourage him to go through those infant baby stages with us as long as possible(i.e. rolling, crawling, etc)
*Those are just a few things that we learned we should've taken more seriously the first round through with Ezra. Although everyone(including us) thought that since Ezra was so young when we got him, it wouldn't matter as much- but really it did . We know every parent makes mistakes, but we sure would do things differently looking back.
Thank goodness for God's grace in all of this! If not for God's grace in Ezra's and Moses' and my life- we would all be going crazy. . . .seriously! But God is indeed gracious, especially when He calls us radical living each and every day. I pray that our family and 'radical living' for Him would point others to the cross of Christ and how because of him, we are adopted into God's family as sons.
Thank you to those of you who've labored in prayer along with us and watched/read our journey in bringing Moses home. We have felt your prayers and been encouraged by your comments. And we are so blessed to have all of your support! Humbly and with gratitude, Dustin and Heidi Greenup (and kids)
SO happy for you Heidi! I'll be rooting for you and your 5 items on the list above:) I am thankful to have your example to learn from. You are a wonderful mom:)
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to meet Moses!
God BLess, Rachelle
I can't believe the day is almost here! Congrats to you, new mama. The things you described will provide a good foundation for Moses, I am sure. And I hear you about wanting to have done things differently. I have felt that with both of my firsts. (bio and adopted) well, really, I feel it with each and every child!! There is so much I want to do differently in parenting! But GOD is gracious and will redeem more things than we can imagine and I hope in that. Much love to you, dear friends
ReplyDeleteso encouraged by your words of faith and honesty, it helps me know how to pray for you and how to cheer for you all!
ReplyDeleteI am sooo happy for you and your family, Heidi. Your attachment-promoting goals are excellent and I am sure that you will do your part to achieve them. As for Moses' response...it's all in God's hands (hands we can certainly trust!). Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteI know we have never met but I am so happy for you guys. I have really enjoyed reading your posts about the adoption experience. My husband and I have considered adopting one day so I am very interested in how the attactchment promoting will go. Thanks for sharing your plan with us. We will be praying for your family as you enter this next stage of life as a family of six!
ReplyDeleteRachel
This is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIt is a blessing to me to see you guys not only adopting, but also continuing to submit your decisions and parenting goals to the Lord with each of your children (and thus "being fruitful" as well as "multiplying"). It seems like it could be easy to just do what you've done before, but here you are making new goals and applying your hearts to learn from past experiences. I'm sure you know this and don't need me to affirm it but it blesses me to read these goals, and so I can't help but say GOOD JOB for taking your responsibility so seriously! You are great parents, and we will pray for you especially in these vital early months of establishing attachment. God bless you guys!!
Thank you for being honest and open with the things you are learning as you walk the post adoption journey. We are all the beneficiaries of the things you are learning. You are also correct (I trust) that God is gracious and faithful to cover over the mistakes we make in raising our kids. Blessings.
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